School is all about boundaries. In fact I am so old that I have realised that life is actually all about boundaries. I am regularly amused when students leave school at the end of Year 12 and return, some months later, to report that they are surprised that there are actually more rules and boundaries and restrictions in their subsequent places of work or study than they ever experienced at school. And at university, a note from your mum holds no sway, which some students realise to their horror for the first time.

The most successful teachers set clear boundaries in their classrooms. They are assertive without being aggressive, clear in terms of their expectations and respectful of their students whilst eliciting respect from those with whom they are working. I see this every day at AV学院.

All of our young people will eventually end up in the world of work and will have to conform with the expectations and boundaries of their workplace, whatever they may be. Indigenous students leaving remote homes and enrolling in boarding schools in the city are taught about 鈥榗ode switching鈥� 鈥� the need to adjust appearance, style of speech and behaviour in ways to optimise others鈥� comfort. A Harvard Business Review article a few years ago made it clear that this not only made others feel more comfortable, but made employment opportunities more likely for different groups of people who were conforming.

The article also described the disadvantages of code switching and how challenging it can be for someone to have to constantly be acting in a certain way at work, if it鈥檚 very different from their normal way of operating. I suppose this is why some students find conforming to school rules easier, if they already 鈥榝it鈥� the type of environment in which they find themselves. I know that when students speak to teachers, it is often in a very different style from the way in which they speak to their peers, an entirely appropriate form of code switching which most learn very early on.

One new boundary that we鈥檝e introduced this year is to ask High School students to keep their phones in their lockers from 7:55am until the end of the school day. Not only will this enable them to spend time talking 鈥榠n real life鈥� with their peers, but hopefully it will give them some time away from the stress of keeping up with others on social media. I know from the phones I鈥檝e confiscated over the years how frequently they buzz and chirp and vibrate and ring as they sit, lonely, on my desk, and distract me from my work. The students whose phones I am looking after always assure me that it鈥檚 merely because of my age that I am unable to ignore them, but I suspect that they are secretly also unable to remain undistracted in the face of what could be the receipt of a particularly lovely photo of their best friend鈥檚 dog. Or worse.

I鈥檝e been surprised that this new Carmel boundary has led to some students commenting that not having their phone on them has made a real difference to their focus at school. This clearly shows a maturity of thinking; even if the thought isn鈥檛 entirely articulated, some of our young people do realise that it feels different when you are detached from your device, at least during the school day, and that this might be a good thing. The focus on that phone at the very end of the day as I say goodbye at the gate sometimes amuses me, but I suspect that some adults would also be very keen to check their messages after a full day offline.

The other way in which boundaries caused me thought this week was in terms of personal boundaries and how we set them. We regularly hear about consent and the need to be very clear about where our boundaries lie. I liked the thought that 鈥淣o can be a full sentence in itself鈥�, implying that it is entirely possible to say 鈥淣o鈥� without including a justification. That makes for a very clear boundary, even though I would feel more comfortable adding one more word and responding with a 鈥淣o thank you鈥�!

A dinnertime conversation about boundaries and how they affect the lives of your children might be interesting around the dinner table this Friday. Are they clear about their own boundaries and where they sit? Do they know how to deal with someone who is pushing their boundaries? Do they have the right words to remove themselves from a situation which makes them uncomfortable? Are they articulate enough to be able to not be persuaded to do something which they might later regret? Role playing scenarios such as these in the safety of the family home could well empower your children to deal effectively with situations that arise in their life.

I enjoyed some of the thoughts on which describes strategies for parents to set healthy boundaries with their children and thought it might be an interesting read.